This is by no means the definitive list of the smug all star squad. The people on this list have earned their spot by smug actions in the 2008-2009 smug season. Many more could end up on this list, feel free to toss some names out there and we can add to the list.
Cris Collinsworth-former NFL WR, Sportscaster. His voice, his remarks, his hairline that moves back during the show, Cris Collinsworth is unbearably smug. Not only does his spell his name without an 'h' (which makes no sense), but he also rambles about meaningless garbage throughout the broadcasts. Every time he laughs the world cringes, he is a smug all star.
The 2008 Philadelphia Eagles-Football team. Starting in Week 2, when DeSean Jackson (below) was so smug that he dropped the ball in celebration before he even crossed the goal line, we knew that this was a special brand of smug. Continuing on throughout their strange season, this Eagles squad somehow turned mediocrity into showboating. McNabb, a player benched just a few weeks earlier, somehow had the audacity to pick up a telephone in the end zone after scoring a touchdown in the playoffs. One cannot ever recall someone who is so disliked doing so little to gain any support. The Eagles got what was coming to them when old man Warner destroyed them in the NFC Championship. This team can never win it until they realize how to win.
UPS Commercial Guy-Douche. Cut your hair, shut your mouth, and get off the television.
Bob Costas-Sportscaster. Costas is very knowledgeable when it comes to sports, he is also intelligent and eloquent. Nonetheless, he is still the ringmaster to the most awful sports show on television: NBC's Football Night in America. This show's smug makes George Clooney's Oscar Speech seem tame. Costas' body language on the show, while he sips his coffee on Sunday nights, does little to help.
Jim Halpert-The Office, Blackberry commercial. Jim Halpert, everyone's favorite lovable unmotivated goof-ball has taken a step into the smug world. His new commercial for the Blackberry Storm shows how quickly one can land a spot on this team. Please for Jim's sake, stop running those commercials.
The Beckhams-Soccer Player, Spice Girl. Beckham may be a big time soccer star, yet the contract he signed and is trying to get out of in LA guarantees him a starting spot on this team. His wife's profusion of plastic surgery means she thinks everyone is stupid enough to believe she really looks that way.
Jimmy Fallon-Actor, Comedian. Terrible actor, future destructor of Late Night.
Dane Cook-Comedian, Actor. Take a look at this guy. The faux-vintage tee, the massive belt buckle, the slouch that tells everyone that his concern is not for your opinion of him. However, Dane Cook has planned out a very particular image amongst his constituency. Cook becomes ecstatic every time someone utters: "he's so college." Family Guy put his appeal best: "I'm in college and he was on the internet." Being on the internet some how gives him some sort of legitimacy. His carefully crafted image is so insufferable that any human being with any sense of judgement would get sick of him quickly. The fact that he continues, makes him smug.
Sarah Palin-Governor of Alaska, failed VP Candidate 2008. DB is not here to bash this woman. She took enough grief for being incompetent and ill-qualified for such a high position in the federal government. What brings her to this team is her sass, her constant condescending attitude, and her lack of respect for any who opposes her. Her accent is also quite obnoxious.
Curt Schlling-former MLB Pitcher. Schilling was a good pitcher, with solid post season success, but not the all-time great that Red Sox fans would like to make him out to be. Without getting into his numbers lets talk about the guy. Not only does Schilling constantly open his mouth about everything from steroids to politics, but he does it in a way that lands him a spot on this team. He constantly campaigns for the worst of American politicians and is just an all around smug all star.
No comments:
Post a Comment