Sham Won't!

Vince Shlomi, or as everyone knows him, the Sham Wow guy was arrested last month on charges of aggravated battery.  The charges became public a few days ago.  Apparently Mr. Sham Wow did not like that his escort chose to bight on his tounge--so he punched her in the face until she let go.   But the overall question this story begs to ask: if the Sham Wow guy has to pay for sex, then how can any of the rest of us get it for free?  Follow the link to thesmokinggun.com's story which includes mug shots for both parties!

Award: Worst Compilation of Stock Footage

This Foreigner music video was mailed in.

2 Fast

Summer Styles 2009

Look no further.  We here at DB have sifted through all the summer fashion releases and scaled them down into four must have looks.  Enjoy!

Jorts: America made jeans what they are today.  It is time for America to capitalize on denim once again.  Jorts (Jeans+Shorts=Jorts) have been inching their way into mainstream style over the past few years.  This summer many designing are poised to flood the market with this brilliant garment.  The simple shred of the pant-leg above the knee, sometimes with a pocket peaking out, tells the world that you mean business.  Jorts can be worn while jogging, swimming, or shopping and can be paired with any number of outfits.  Shown here sans-tee with a purple bandana, tube socks, and a pair of Timberlands.

The Muumuu: Should be this year's biggest hit for the plus-sized crowd.  Allows for excellent easy access and accentuates the positive aspects of excessive girth. Perfect for guys looking for women who appreciate the gradeur that only a periwinkle-blue Muumuu spotlighting a fine rainbow floral pattern can offer.  White sheepswool slippers complete the look. 

The Speedo: Even outside an Olympic year the Speedo has always been an impact move.  This year expect big things out of the Speedo.  For one it uses less fabric, thus is good for the economy in an recession.  The lack of tan lines is also a large plus.  The solid coloring allows for our more conservative readers to also enjoy high style.  Shown here is the usual pink Speedo look complete with Kanye sunglasses, Tony Hawk brand skateboard, and a pair of baby-blue Airwalks.  The Speedo is an excellent choice for the beach, park, office and night club this year.

The Dennis Rodman: With his reemergence via Celebrity Apprentice, the worm will surely be a big fashion icon in the summer of 2009.  Be sure to don your favorite Rodman uniform.  In this case we went with the 1996 Bulls, the 80's pistons or early 90's Spurs may be a better fit for you.   The looks is complete with the vibrant hairstyle, nose piercing and a pair of Reeboks.

A Rod Linked to Spitzer's Hooker

He's outdone himself once again!  A Rod associating with yet another fine American: Eliot Spitzer's DC Madam.  His PR department must have the mission: keep A Rod in the news by any means necessary.  Almost a Cheney-esque approach, bravo Alex.

Nickelbackkkkk

Summer is fast approaching which means the shore, baseball, BBQ's, Joe Pop's, and an ice chest full of Pabst Blue Ribbon on your front porch.  This summer is extra special because Nickelback is coming to PNC!  

Saint Paddy's

Celebrate with your favorite Irish traditions!

Top 10 Irish-Americans

The Penultimate List of Irish-Americans:

1. The Kennedys 

2. Joel McHale

3. John Carney

4. Mayor Joe Quimby

5. Ed O'Neill

6. Mark McGwire

7. Chicken McNuggets

8. Conan O'Brien 

9. Kebano McMikes

10. Shaquille O'Neal

Madoff Victim Thinks IRS Should Pay Back Taxes on "Phantom Income"

Richard Friedman lost $3 million to Madoff and believes the IRS cannot keep the taxes, on such falsified incomes, in good faith.  Well like Mr. Friedman, Bennet Goldworth lost 97% of his net worth with Madoff.  Good job diversifying your funds guys.  This is one case where the government could even spend the money more wisely.  Good luck. 

Who is in Charge of AXE's Ridiculous Marketing Scheme?

We will try to post the ad's soon, but here is what is likely going on in the AXE marketing board room. 

Axe has a new commercial out on the television airways.  This ad continues their proud tradition of attracting the top of the sophomoric douchy male food chain.  Continually out nitwitting competitors, TAG and Bod-Man, the genius marketing department at AXE has found a way to make you feel as uncomfortable during their commercial as their consumers make you feel when you smell them from two blocks away.  

The ad shows that you can get black-out and drawn on, but AXE soaps will help you get up the next day and get involved in Johnny-Drama fury-like activities.  AXE: don't be embarrassed, be an ass.

DTV Transition—Is the Government Bluffing?

Just slightly less than a week before the Digital Television Conversion was said to come, President Obama signed the DTV-Delay Bill.  Somewhat silently the government admitted that too many people stood to loose their TV signal on February 17^th.  Despite excessive advertisements, from both the government and your local smug cable spokesman, the people did not listen.

Now what does this all mean?  Supposedly the transition will now occur on June 12^th—but is the government bluffing again this time?  The government needs to beef up integrity by actually enforcing it this time.  Because I know that if I were one of those people who for some reason did not listen to these obnoxious commercials, then I would be unlikely to pay attention if they keep giving me a loose deadline.  Toughen up and get it done.